Drug Store Conversations Revisited

Drug store conversations with complete strangers must be inherently interesting. Either that or I have a big sign on my head that says, “Talk to me about bodily functions and/or your current psychosis.”

It definitely doesn’t read “I’m good at small talk.” Whatever the sign on my forehead, it does invite odd conversations. Perhaps it reads “Unlikely to be judgmental.” I'd like to think that one fairly accurate, although who really knows.

In any case, in addition to my conversation with an elderly pharmacist about condoms, I had a fairly in depth conversation with a young man about feminine products yesterday.

This guy was seeking feminine napkins, having apparently been sent by a mom, girlfriend or sister. I was going to have to say something eventually, but lucky for me he had the decency to explain, “It’s that time of the month for me.” “Yeah, you got the lucky job this month I see.”

Those products are fairly confusing even for females who have been using them for more years than they would care to admit. This young guy didn’t stand a chance, and sure enough he soon asked for advice. His only direct instruction had been for something “thin”. Just to name a few there are ultra thin and regular thin and panty-liners which are thin anyway. “You didn’t get any other instructions? Wings or no wings? Long or regular? Super or regular?” No. Whoever did the requesting had only specified “thin”.

He went for the Always brand, which I told him was good, because the sticky stuff holds really well on that brand. You could probably use the adhesive for super glue, in fact. Next was scented or unscented. I said unscented, because really unless someone’s told you that they are or aren’t sensitive to that stuff, you never know if it’s going to cause them some kind of infection or discomfort or disease or what. So, some woman in the greater Houston area lacks feminine deodorant this month, thanks to me.

He narrowed his selection. “This one’s got wings,” I pointed out, omitting an explanation of why wings might be useful. “Yeah,” he said, “but this pack is smaller” “Yeah small’s good,” I told him, “’Cause whatever you buy is going to be wrong anyway. You might as well go for less.” “Yeah, you’re right.” he agreed, and made off with something hopefully somewhat sufficient. I, on the other hand abandoned my efforts, having had enough complication for the evening.

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Here’s a random picture, just for fun. Isn’t this the CUTEST excavator you ever saw?

Appropriately enough, it’s called a mini-excavator. It seems like a trick of perspective or something, but that guy is taller than his excavator! Look at his elbow: it’s really is leaning on whatever that arm thing is called.