But then luckily for me I remembered needed to leave for my first ever mammogram appointment! And what could be better blog fodder than having your boobies squishied beyond recognition?!?! And so, as they say, be careful what you wish for.
Let me tell you something though - it wasn't SO very bad.
I was all worried that whether or not I had gained a pound or two in my boobs would all be a moot point compared to whether or not the mammogram machine burst every last fat cell in my chest. Because I imagine *THAT* would require a whole new set of bras. And I was really scared too, because the bras I like are expensive. And also because I didn't want my boobs to look like pancakes.
I've heard it's worse if you have a mammogram during certain times of the month. So maybe mine wasn't so awful terrible. But I'll tell you what's worse for certain: Childbirth is worse. Having a wisdom tooth out is worse. Getting a crown is worse. Even getting my belly button pierced was worse.
Apologies to anyone who suffered through this who didn't need to be informed about mammograms. I'd post a picture of my pre-squishied chest as a boobie prize (so to speak), but this isn't that type of blog.
Instead here's a picture of a giant Halloween decoration hanging from a neighbor's tree. The spider is pretty huge and, although you can't tell from the picture, it hangs out over the road from the light post. The picture doesn't quite capture it, but it's equally cute and disturbing...sort of like a picture of my pre-squished boobs might have been had I posted one:
17 comments:
Squished boobs...giant spider...yeah I totally get the connection... :-D
PS: I haven't been called up for a mammogram yet ergo I must still be young???...maybe???
And I got mine done Thursday. 3rd time 'round. And yes, some times it is much worse than others, but never is it as bad as childbirth or tooth extraction.
Boy they sure start mandatory mamograms at young age over there! Here you have to wait until you're fifty for your first appointment!
I am glad the boobies are A-OK!
I woz here. (but I'm running away because people are talking about boobies!)
I've never had to have my boobies squished (I'm sure I will soon) but the spider thing is awesome. This is the first year I've seen that done and I've seen several of them (not all spiders, some ghosts) and all I can think is how the heck do they get that thing on the light pole! Those are way taller than any ladder I own.
To keep Sun,People happy you should write something about testicular cancer and prostrate exams.
mammograms are very important. Haven't had one yet. It sounds painful. I'll do it anyway, when I have to.
There is absolutely nothing that I can say that won't make me sound like a perv...
You're right, it isn't so bad, UNLESS you have almost no boobies to squish! For me, they have to get out the Small Paddle. Which -- believe me -- is an instrument of torture. It's all they can do to find enough material on me to squish. :-) Even so, it's only a couple of seconds of discomfort. More than that of humiliation, though! lol
Christine - thank goodness!
Arizaphale & DJ Kirkby - Guess we get cancer a full decade earlier around here?
Thanks Alf!
Good choice People! I hear fleeing is always a good option when boobie talk comes around.
Kristine - Yeah they're pretty neat looking, aren't they?
SJ - Well that's up next obviously! 'Cause who doesn't want to read about the prostate?!?!
Loraine - it isn't so very terrible. And really I mainly talked to the woman about belly button rings the entire time.
A Free Man - I think you managed nicely. :-0
Janet - I thought about that. I wondered if it was worse if you don't have a lot to squash in.
I always say that if men had to have their penis squished to a 1 inch width they would have eradicated penis cancer already!!! It sucks that they haven't figured out another way for a mammogram than squishing it to an inhuman size.
I agree, I was dreading mine and then when I went I was so surprised at how harmless it all is. Weird experience but not painful at all (for me). I kept waiting for her to squish some more, expecting the pain. Then she said "all done" and I said "THAT was it?". Cannot believe how much some people have complained about it, they need to find a better facility if it is that painful for them. I do think this is one time where the bigger the better (less pain).
Brown English Muffin - Yeah, probably so. I had more to say about the whole penis thing but...I reigned myself in. Luckily.
Beth - Yeah. I think that too. It seems like if there's a lot to squish it probably just isn't that bad.
"Cute and disturbing" Ha!
Glad your boobies didn't get pancake-ized.
Hey as long as you go the all clear on the mammogram, it's all good.
Thanks Maureen & Ricardo!
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