I'm married now! (In which I explain a lot of stuff, almost making you feel as if you were AT the wedding. Except, this is probably longer.)

The-Guy asked if I was going to blog live from our wedding, and although the idea had merit, I think it would have taken a little something away from the ceremony.

And then after the wedding, I had a wedding hangover. It's like a regular hangover, except with only two shots of tequila and a few sips of beer. And seven hundred and fifty three pounds of lamb tacos and baked goods instead of aspirin and puke and stuff.

But now I'm coming out of my wedding fog and thought I'd do the next best thing and tell the whole kit and caboodle in as short a version as I could manage. Sorry in advance to those who have been reading since before I met The-Guy and have the basic gist.After much convincing from a friend who would prefer to remain unnamed on this blog (I'll call her "Linda"), I joined a dating service and was on it for ten days, from start to finish.

To the dating profile question that asked who I was looking for, I answered, "A guy who likes songs about chickens. Or songs about whiskey."

I got a bunch of emails and I answered all of them, but I only gave my phone number to two guys. The other guy collected all kinds of junk. I talked to him on the phone, but he had an antique gas pump he was planning on keeping, and an antique jukebox he was planning on selling. This sounded like a severe case of confused priorities.

Meanwhile, The-Guy had emailed me saying he knew a good song about chickens. Not only that, he had a 45 with the chicken song on one side and a whiskey song on the other.

Still, I thought I should seek the advice of girlfriends before actually committing to a date. I showed his picture to my friend "Linda" and my friend Laurie.

Laurie protested, "Don't go out with him! He's wearing khakis!" But my friend "Linda" countered, "He's cute! I think you should go out with him!"

"Cute" sounded more convincing than disqualifying someone on the basis of clothing, and he DID know a song about a chicken. I gave him my phone number and he totally impressed me with his use of the word "umbrage". I'm a sucker for a guy with a larger vocabulary than I have.

And so we went on our first date, and I fell totally and completely in love with him, because he didn't have a television. It was a Thursday, and he asked to go out again on Sunday.

But, of course there was a Friday and a Saturday in between and yes, as the rabbi mentioned during the ceremony, I did kiss a bald Spaniard on the Friday in between. But it was only in self defense, because men say all the time that they're going to call and they hardly ever do. Little did I know that The-Guy was canceling a Saturday date just to make more time with me.

We spent most all our free time together after that (of which I had about 37 seconds a week, having two jobs, two kids, and two cats at the time).

And as the rabbi mentioned during the ceremony, I really did pull the rabbi aside as he was dropping off his kids for preschool and say, "My boyfriend doesn't know it yet, but he's getting married."

The part the rabbi omitted from the ceremony was his response to me, which was, "Well, sometimes men take a little longer to realize these things than women do." He also offered to give The-Guy a good talking to if it took him too long to come around, which turned out not to be necessary.

And then The-Guy proposed, and my dad said to make sure to have the wedding during my brother's vacation and my aunt said, "I'm coming to a wedding if I have to make the potato salad myself!" And I said, "We gotta have a wedding too?!?!?! Can't we just get married in the rabbi's office on my lunch break?!?!?!?"And even though we had to invite some people and not invite other people, and even though I forgot a cousin here and there and never got other people's addresses, and even though the music may have been a little loud (my brother said the music wasn't too loud, the crowd was too old) it turned out to be perfect and wonderful and fun, just like people said it would be.

And only one person was injured, and he TOLD my boy to try and hit the beer bottle with the shuffleboard puck for cryin' out loud.

So very many thanks to my friends and family, and my family that are my friends, and my friends that are my family, and everyone, everyone for making everything so special and wonderful and memorable and meaningful and all that kind of stuff. Wedding pictures still to come!