Just When I Think the Internet is Full, I Turn Out to Have Bought "Previously Handled" Pizza

Every now and then I get the feeling that the internet is full and maybe I should quit adding to the din.

But then I buy a bake-at-home pizza at the store and it turns out to be "previously handled."

Then we go get the mail and within several seconds of opening a new toy, the Head of Demolition tangles the motor in her hair so thoroughly that it has to be removed with scissors.

And I realize that not only is the internet quite obviously missing pictures of my kid with her hair tangled in a toy boat motor and previously handled pizza, but that all the ridiculous warning labels in the world were apparently written just for her.

Because, entrapment people!