None for Me Thanks

Hello! Sorry I've been gone. We took a nice little family trip to hell, and then just when we made our collective way back into the land of the living, The-Guy and I went to Michigan for a wedding.

I'm not going to invade Older Gal's privacy (at least any more than usual). So I can't divulge too very much about hell except this: I've been paid back in full. My advice is NOT to put your stepdaughter-type-person's soul up for sale on ebay. It's like all kinds of bad karma.

I have collected some nice pictures during my absence though. I puzzle over this on the way to school each day:I can't quite capture just how desolate this area is. See how lonesome the stroller looks over there by the black and yellow striped diagonal striped sign?First of all, who the heck locks up a $10 stroller? Surely the lock must cost almost as much as the stroller itself.

Secondly, where do these people go every day? There is NOTHING around. They didn't park the stroller and go into Target. That bridge is over a bayou and the brick wall surrounds the city water works. Across the bayou there's a police station. That's it.

In other adventures, Michigan was a very nice place to visit. Although, they can be a little controlling when it comes to the speed limits: Because 16 mph would be too slow, and 18 to fast, obviously.

I had no idea the chicken vs. cow wars had heated up to this extent, PETA be damned:Last but not least, I heard this REALLY improves compliance among illiterate dogs:I'm sure there's a lot less dog poop on these people's yard now.

One week left on the end of school countdown!

Take Two (they're small)

Two more weeks of school that is...

It's been a very difficult week here at Camp Twipply Skwood. We might have been more like quadwooply skwood this week, I'm not exactly sure. But I do know for certain that the countdown til summer break has begun!

My gal had her end of the year dance tonight, which happens to also be her first school dance. Here she is showing off her dress:I like this one where she's pretending to fall out of the rose garden:
We had the following conversation in the car on the way to drop her off. Keep in mind that she has been incredibly excited about this dance for quite some time:

Me - "Aaaaw! My sweetie! Your first dance! Well, your first dance that's at night..."
My Gal - "If you don't count bat mitzvah dances."
Me - "Okay, your first school dance at night!"
My Gal - "It's probably going to be lame."
Me - "Yeah. Well...aren't they all."
(I pause and shrug)
Me - "At least, that's what they say. I never actually went to any of mine."

Yeah, well...that's 'cause I heard they were lame.

Anyway that's the story from here...or part of it at any rate. Hope everyone has a good week!

My Lips Are Sunburned

Happy Mother's Day all you women out there who sacrificed your bodies and all your time and every ounce of energy that you had just to put yet another human on this earth who will alternately adore and you and ceaselessly criticize your every move! This day's for you!

Anyhow, we've been busy like little bees here. The kids had the production of their play, and now they're world famous in Jewish Houston. Random strangers tell them what a great job they did, and suddenly parents and grandparents of my students realize why I look so familiar.

Yesterday was Houston's Art Car Parade, the country's oldest and largest. Two hundred and fifty THOUSAND people were expected to show up, and I'm pretty sure I handed out a KPFT 90.1 program guide to 249,000 of those people. So that's why my lips are sunburned and I practically got sunstroke.

It's worth it though, because the art car parade is like Christmas to me. Did you ever know anyone who said, "No matter what, I can never be sad on Christmas."? I know someone who says that, and it's true. No matter what kind of PURE HELL she happens to be living through during any particular year, Christmas day makes her truly happy.

A couple things do that for me, like seeing my gal sing or dance or hearing my boy scold the cat for getting near his miniature Torah. And the Art Car parade. I'm always happy at the art car parade. Here's a couple pictures:


Here's a woman painting the words, "Art Horse" onto a police horse:
The-Guy (who knows a song about a chicken, as opposed to the guy whose car is a giant chicken) and I had this conversation with the owner of the chicken car:

Me - "Do you have to get it inspected?"
Chicken-Car-Guy - "No. I just get tickets."
Me - "But you have a license plate on there."
Chicken-Car-Guy - "Yeah, I take it off my other car and put it on there."
The-Guy - "Do you have it insured?"
Chicken-Car-Guy - "Yes, but I have it insured as a Toyota truck, not as a giant chicken."

In other news, the Older Gal is hoping to become a binge drinker like me, so next up I have pictures of our cabinets and refrigerator, showing what an awesome job we're doing around here helping her to aspire to her goals.

Meanwhile I'm off to collect on what I'm sure will be a plethora of mother's day gifts and a day of pampering...or something. Happy Mother's Day!