If You Choose to Have A "Late in Life Baby", It Might be Best to Encase Yourself in Plaster Before the Kid Can Even Crawl

That baby of ours is cute, but whenever I'm around her I say things like,

"No more 'more'! You already have 'more' right here! Eat the 'more' on your plate and then you can have more 'more'."

My boy on the other hand, ends up having to say goofy sounding stuff just to get me to stop talking -

Me - "Y'Know, when the baby is all grown up and I'm already dead, you're giving to have to make sure she has somewhere to go for Passover."
Boy - ?
Me - "Because you're the youngest. If I'm dead and The-Guy is dead and Older Gal is dead, you and the Sweet Pea will have to make sure the baby has somewhere to go on the holidays."
Boy - ?
Me - "I might not be dead. I might just be old. And doddering."
Boy - ?
Me - "You know!!!!! Like when she's 30, I'll already be 73. So you'll have to have her over for Passover…or at least drop in at her place unexpectedly."
Boy - "As long as I can be referred to as The Godfather."

Hopefully I live long enough to hear the baby say stuff like that. Because it's extremely dangerous to have a "late in life baby". I never sustained a single baby related injury during The Boy or The Sweet Pea's formative years. But I've already fallen flat on the floor three times as a result of this kid.

Not to mention the fact that her car seat attacked me last week and yanked off part of my fingernail and the skin underneath.

Unlike when my boy busted his head wide open, I did not take a picture. You're welcome.

Both The-Guy and I have had broken toes thanks to her little innocent self. I didn't take pictures of our broken toes either. Your welcome.

I used to advise against having a new baby when you already had a high school senior. But that was when she was a newborn and she cried EVERY. WAKING. MOMENT. Having a toddler while you have a couple in college and one in high school is totally, totally worth all the injuries.

She's a lot of fun.

And delicious too. Apparently. Still, you want to have a well stocked first aid kit.

Why yes it IS tough being a baby.

The problems of today's youth are many. For example, when I'm upset Mama drags out the camera.

And those people NEVER get me the correct art supplies! I told them regular yogurt doesn't have the depth or dimension that I need! Next time maybe they'll get me Greek yogurt.

I even got put inside a block tower!

At least the next door neighbor's dog loves me. She love me not. She loves me. She loves me not. She loves me…

These days there are plenty of cool things to play with:

But, if we don't play our cards right we get could sent to "Lego lessons". Mama says when she was a kid, she just got to play with her Legos.

I hope that everyone is having a good week! (and hasn't been sent to Lego class!)

I'm almost as good at cooking as I am at eating. Or wait. Maybe I'm almost as good at eating as I am at cooking. Instructions on how to carve a pumpkin:

First take out some of the goo that's in the pumpkin. Come on in, the water's fine!

Pick up the glass bowl right away and dump all the seeds onto the ground. Try not to get any seeds or goop on the newspaper while you're dumping them. Dad might still want to read it, after all.

I like to make sure and step on the seeds too. I don't fully crush them of course, because I'm not making wine. But mashing my foot in them just so releases the flavor.

Go ahead and keep eating the entire time. Pumpkin guts, a snack, whatever you happen to find on the floor…but don't let any seeds escape!

For that certain eau de drool, make sure and lick the seeds before roasting.

You're supposed to let your mom do the actual carving. I'm not sure why.

Make sure to have a small snack after all that work. Trashing the kitchen is exhausting work! If your mom says you're too little for Halloween candy, see if she'll make you ghosts out of a red banana and some raisins.

Leave the pumpkin seeds on the counter for at least two days or until such time as they disappear because Dad gets tired of seeing them. (as it turns out, Mama doesn't have time to roast and Dad wasn't nearly as enthusiastic about this project as I thought he would be).

Wait...were we roasting seeds or carving a pumpkin? I always forget. Whatever it is, it's probably happening past my bedtime.

Everyone Says I'm "Delicious"

I guess that's why Mama made me into sushi for Halloween.

The white is the rice. The orange is my salmon and the green is probably avocado. Mama likes that better than cucumber.

The black band is my seaweed wrapper. And of course I have carrot for a hat!

~~~~~~~UPDATE for October 2014~~~~~~~

This was totally NOT a sponsored post when I originally wrote it, but I have since signed up as an Amazon affiliate, which as I understand it means that if you click on my little widgety thing and proceed to make a purchase, I get commissions.  Or something.  

Meanwhile, this costume is SO EASY that it would be kind of silly not to link what's needed.  Basically I dressed our Chief Content Provider in a white onsie and leggings.  Then I wrapped an adult black legging around her and shoved in some reusable grocery bags on her back.  

Here's where to click Amazon to get the ingredients for your own yummy sushi!!

And here's a picture that's all Pinterest-y, just in case you get a generous hair and decide to share:

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As well as some of these nice people.